Tears
by VexenIV
Summary: Vexen is working alone in his lab late at night and listening to the radio. The one song he despises begins to play and it forces back unwanted childhood memories. SERIOUS OC Vexen


I was in my lab at castle oblivion, I got was feeling really depressed at the sole reason of a song being played.  
None of the other members knew of my life and background from my somebodies child hood.

_**Step one  
You say we need to talk she walks  
You say sit down it's just to talk  
Smiles politely back at you,  
You stare politely right on through  
Some saw the window to your right  
She goes left and you stay right  
Between the lines, fear and blame  
You begin to wonder why you came**_

I leaned against the window with the song playing in the background. It brought tears to my eyes; they ran down my face and I just leaned there, staring out the window for no good reason; Thinking of past experiences.

_**Where did I go wrong?  
I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness and I  
Would have stayed up, with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life.**_

Images flashed through my mind of things that I saw. I accidentally dropped the scalpel I was holding and it landed on my arm; I cursed lightly and wiped away tears to see properly. There was a deep gash in it and blood was running down my arm. There were more images that passed through my mind at this point.

_**Let him know that you know best  
Cause after all you do know best  
Try to slip past his defence  
Without planting innocence  
Lay down a list of what is wrong  
Things you told him all alone  
Pray to god he hears you and I pray to god he hears you.**_

I tried to get back on task and went to bandage my arm. I looked out the window and saw one of my non existent friends staring back. I broke down into more tears and walked back to my desk with the first aid kit.

_**Then where did I go wrong?  
I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness and I  
Would have stayed up, with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life.**_

I wiped away more tears and bandaged my arm. Luckily it wasn't deep. I put the first aid kit away and cursed the song. This Song! It's torturing! I collapsed to my knees beside my desk and cried hopelessly. My somebody had never really gotten over what happened and that in turn affected me.

_**Sleeping in to raise his voice lowers yours  
Grants him one last choice  
Try until you loose the road  
A break with the ones you follow  
He wound in one of two things  
you will admit to everything  
Or he'll say he's just not the same  
And you'll begin to wonder why you came**_

The wind blew one of my notes on the desk down onto the floor in front of me. I looked at it and saw blood spots almost identical to the note my somebody received. I saw the whole incident again and broke down fully this time. I collapsed on the ground and curled up into a ball.

_**Where did I go wrong?  
I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness and I  
Would have stayed up, with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life.  
Where did I go wrong?  
I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness and I  
Would have stayed up, with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life.**_

Curse this song! Why did it have to play? _WHY?!_ The pain I was feeling was emotionally tearing. My heart felt like it was going to tear in half. Why couldn't I get over it? WHY?! Why did it still affect me like it did still when I didn't have a heart?

_**How to save a life**_

I curled up tighter and hid my face in my knees. I'm just lucky it's 11:00 and everyone is asleep, hopefully.

_**How to save a life  
Where did I go wrong?  
I lost a friend.  
Somewhere a long in the bitterness and I  
Would have stayed up, with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life  
Where did I go wrong?  
I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness and I  
Would have stayed up, with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life**_

More images flashed through my mind of people I saw die that were close to me. I cried even harder and this time sobs escaped my throat.

_**How to save a life**_

I heard someone knock on the door but I ignored them. I couldn't stop crying. Why? I didn't want this pain. It should have left when I lost my heart. There were more choking sobs that escaped my throat and I cursed the song again.

_**How to save a life**_

I cried myself to sleep eventually.

**(A/N) The sad side of Vexen's life as a somebody... I was feeling depressed when I wrote this. How to save a life came on and I absoloutly DESPISE that song. DX**

**Anyway...please R&R.**

**Sorry if it made any of you depressed as well. **


End file.
